What happens when the goal you've spent an eternity working toward is finally within your reach, but then you encounter something you want even more?

And what if forsaking your long-sought goal also came with an impossible price?

In At the End of the River Styx, Zan needs only one more soul to fulfill his obligation to the terrifying Ferryman of delivering 500 souls in 500 years, but the latest soul to walk through his door is unusual. First, this boy, Bastian, does not seem to be entirely dead; and what's more, he sees something in Zan beyond a grim harbinger of doom. 

"At the End of the River Styx is a book about grief and about love, about two boys finding themselves at the edge of Death," says Ann Arbor author Michelle Kulwicki about her debut young adult novel. "I think it's really about conquering grief and learning to love again, learning to love yourself, learning to love other people around you."

I spoke with Kulwicki about At the End of the River Styx and other creative pursuits.

Q: First, I understand you're a musician and musical theater person, as well? What sort of music do you do, or what are you working on?

A: My husband and I are actually both professional cellists in the area. I play with the Ann Arbor Symphony and play all around Michigan, have a business doing weddings, all of that.

Q: Do you find that your various creative endeavors feed into each other at all?

A: I think so. Only in that being a musician, you learn to fail constantly. You have to work really hard to keep getting work. And writing is very similar. It's just rejection after rejection. So going into writing was definitely easier for me in that regard because I was already used to it. I've met a lot of writers who found that a really hard hurdle to get over, but I'd already grown up that way. 

Q:  Well, since you brought that up, what does it feel like when the publisher said, yes, they want to do At the End of the River Styx?

A:  That was a wild day. It's always really overwhelming. But I think, especially on the music side, I've always started to learn that as long as you just keep trying and keep going, you will get a yes eventually. It just takes time. But Page Street offering on Styx was an absolutely lovely surprise. It had been on sub for six months at that point, I think, which I gather is pretty normal, but I was not expecting it when it came in. There were a lot of celebrations.

Q: As the title suggests, it does draw quite a lot on mythologies. How did you shape the mythology into the story that you wanted to tell or draw on the mythology to create this scenario between Zan and Bastian?

A: I've always really loved Greek mythology. I mean, a lot of what I read growing up had that as a big focus. Those stories have always stuck with me. I think there's something really romantic about being on this river of death. And in my head, I wasn't so much trying to do a retelling or anything like that. I just wanted to bring in those lonely elements from the myth and then create something around that and just use that as a setting more than any retelling.

Q: I know there are story reasons, but as an author, why did you want to have Bastion buying a bookstore with his inheritance?

A: That's just such a glamorous, romantic idea for me. I have some really great core memories of going to used bookstores as a kid. I grew up in Washington, and there were a couple of used bookstores around me, and I would just hang out there after school. I would get my mom to take me to the store. I would bike over there. I remember just loving walking through all the stacks of books and pulling all of the old fantasy novels off the shelves and the smell of it and everything. So there's not really much more romantic that I can imagine at 18 than owning your own space like that. I mean, it's ridiculous, but it was really fun to be able to give him that.

Q: In the story's world, Zan has been doing this for a while, guiding souls to the Ferryman for nearly 500 years. Why does Bastian stand out?

A: I think for almost 500 years, he has been largely either ignored or people are terrified of him. They don't want to acknowledge his existence. I think Bastian is the first soul there who actually treated him like he was human again, actually spoke to him, had a conversation with him. I think for Zan, that was really something that he had been just craving and missing. And so that made him really different right out of the gate, just to be acknowledged rather than afraid of. Bastian wasn't really afraid of him like everybody else who came through there was.

Q: What do you hope readers will take away from this book?

A: I was writing a lot of mental health struggles that I think a lot of teens face, and I think especially coming out of the pandemic, there's a lot of loss, family, friends—even just being isolated, not even losing someone to death, but just being isolated by yourself—that deep grieving that a lot of teens had to deal with. I hope that when they're reading this, they can see if they're struggling with similar things, they can see themselves there, and they can see that they are also worthy of love, that everybody is worthy of love, really. That's what I hope they get out of it. 

Q: You've been recognized for your short stories, but this is your first full-length novel. What has the process of launching this book been like?

A: It's been wild. People told me that it was going to be really difficult and very different than just sitting at your desk and writing. I still was underprepared for how much ... I'm an extreme introvert. I don't tend to like talking to people. So having to do outreach, speaking to booksellers, things like that have been overwhelming, but also really cool. It's been exciting learning a little bit about that side of the business. It's also been amazing having readers reach out. Getting personal messages from them and whatnot has been incredibly exciting to me. That said, I think I will always enjoy sitting at my desk and just typing by myself in silence more than the other side of everything.

Q:  Is there anything you can say about the next book, or is it too early?

A: I can say there is a next book. I'm hoping that I'll be able to say more about it soon. But yes, there is another book coming. I'm very excited about it. It also has a lot of twists on mythology, themes of grief and love, and it's young adult fantasy also.

Shaun Manning is a founder and former co-owner of Booksweet. He is also a writer of various things, mostly comics. 

Michelle Kulwicki's next author event will be held at Grosse Pointe Public Library Central Branch on January 25 at 2 pm. Visit michellekulwicki.com for more info and other book events.