National Library Week Special Event: Yarn Harlot Stephanie Pearl-McPhee Discusses the Art of Knitting and Her New Book 'Things I Learned From Knitting ... whether I wanted to or not'

Sat, 05/29/2004 - 6:38am

When: April 11, 2008 at the Downtown Library: Multi-Purpose Room

AADL kicks off National Libraray Week with the Yarn Harlot! Stephanie Pearl-McPhee made two spectacular visits to AADL last year, where over 300 knitters at each event heard her comments about knitting and life. She is the best-selling author of At Knit's End, Knitting Rules and other tongue-in-cheek meditations on this obsession with knitting. Stephanie returns to AADL to talk, knit, laugh, and discuss her new book. A book signing will follow, with books for sale courtesy of Borders. Not just for knitters, Stephanie Pearl-McPhee is a humorist for all world-weary parents, friends of knitters, adult children who haven't yet begun therapy to complain about their upbringing, and those who just like to look at lovely scarves in fuzzy wool. Her award-winning blog, Yarn Harlot (yarnharlot.ca/blog/), chronicles the daily travails of life as she parents, partners, knits... and writes.

Transcript

• [00:00:39.42] TIM GRIMES: OK. Good evening everybody. Welcome to the Ann Arbor District Library. My name is Tim Grimes. I'm in charge of events at the Ann Arbor District Library. On behalf of all the staff, I want to welcome you here. I actually came and made an announcement like at 4 o'clock for the people that were here then. It's like 7 o'clock now. Last time Stephanie was here, I kept making hourly announcements, she's on her way, she's on her way. So when I made the announcement at 4:00, which is just that the bookseller was on his way, they thought you know that it was fog again, and that Stephanie was delayed but no she actually is here.
• [00:01:12.77] I'm going to say a couple things very very quickly on just some library things. This is only one of the events that we're having this month, and especially this week it's the beginning of National Library Week, so this is actually our pre kind of kickoff. You can look at our events at aadl.org and we have several flyers in back. Something that's coming up this month for those of you who do like crocheting, it's Amigurumi Crochet Happy Fun at Malletts Creek Branch Sunday, April 20th from 1:00 to 4:00. Again, there's no charge for any of our events and this is in our teen brochure. It's actually for teens and adults, and something very interesting as you just exit here, the Arts Alliance of Washtenaw County is having a survey to see how many artists there are in the county. How many performing artists, as well as visual artists, and if knitting is an art, you might want to fill out this survey. artist census. So trying to find out how many actual artists are in the county, and that's just in back and also online. I know that was very very interesting. I know you are very interested, and you'd much rather hear me talk more about the library, but I do have to turn it over to Stephanie.
• [00:02:22.67]
• [00:02:36.05] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: Did it work? Oh good. They put this on me a little while ago, and then I had to go to the loo and I was living in fear. I can't tell you how many times I checked to see that it was off. I'm like, off? Yes. Off? Yes. Very hard to relax. I've been kind of stressed out for a little while anyway because last night I was in Minnesota, and it started to snow really, really, really hard and it was like why does the world not want me to go to Ann Arbor?
• [00:03:07.55] OK. I know. We should've known that was a set up from the word go. OK, you guys know I just have to do this. I always say the reason why I do this, so I take these pictures from my mother. Because she wondered if this knitting thing could really work out. There's people upstairs so I'm just going to get a picture of the camera. It's harder than it looks. That was a little bit dorky. I should try not to be so-- I should try not to be so dorky; note to self.
• [00:04:00.98] I have come all this way to tell you guys that I am not stupid. Thank you. There's excellent evidence that I may be a dork. There's some evidence that I am occasionally strange, and I'm not even going to bother trying to deny the fact that there are moments when I make the lint balls in the bottom of a felted bag look bright. But I know that I'm not stupid. I've raised children without seeming to do them any permanent harm. I have a perfect safety record. I started with three. All have three. I passed almost everything in school, almost. There was an epic battle to achieve grade ten math, that still gives me a little cramp when I think about it, but I passed it. I read books. I have written books. I make decent conversation at parties if you ignore the occasional attempt to get a non-knitter to talk about yarn. I figured out my new coffee maker. Thank you. It's got a timer on it. It makes coffee now, although at seemingly random intervals. We haven't figured out yet what we're doing wrong there, but Joe and I keep waking up at like three in the morning, and we're like is it making coffee? Yes, yes it is. Although there have been some incidents, I can largely work a computer, largely.
• [00:05:53.87] Despite the way I get lost all the time, and I do get lost all the time, I have started a collection of inexplicable things of the United States that I feel may explain how it is that I'm lost all the time. Like for example, how many of you know that the Cincinnatti Airport is in Kentucky? You don't feel like that's the kind of thing you might want to write on a Canadian ticket stubb? I couldn't believe it. Then this older guy told me last night it turns out here, he passed me a note after my talk. The note, it's from Archie, and the note says, "The Red Wing Minnesota Airport is in Wisconsin." The things that I am collecting because they can't be my fault that I'm lost all the time. It can't be. Like Florida; somebody can explain Florida to me too. Like why, if it's as far south as you can go, are you not in the South when you go there? Just things I've been thinking about.
• [00:07:05.70] So, despite being lost all the time; despite the way I celebrated my thirty eighth birthday twice. I can neither count or add. Then fought against it really hard when it was sister's birthday, and we had this epic battle because she was absolutely convinced I was 39 and I was positive I was 38 and we ended up with my brother counting it out. Like, "You were born in 1968. So in 1969, you were one." It took about 30 minutes to convince me, and my sister still says that watching me age an entire year in five minutes is the best birthday present she's ever gotten.
• [00:07:55.09] Despite that; despite locking myself out of my hotel room in Calgary, wearing nothing but a pair of powder blue underpants that said, "cowgirl" on the arse. It was a good day. That was a good day. Actually that's the day that I hold all other days on tour up to. Every time I think, "Oh, this is really bad. This is not going well. This is awful." I think, well, "I'm wearing a shirt." That's somebody who sometimes doesn't wear a shirt, you can tell. She's like, "I know that."
• [00:08:42.90] Despite all of these things, most people seem to think I am smart enough, and I am even occasionally called clever. Which makes me feel good, but probably means that as a culture our standards are too low. I'm not telling you this because I have low self-esteem, and I need to defend myself, or I need you to know. I tell you this because I run into people all the time who seem to think that knitting and intelligence are related. You know, they take a look at how much time I spend intrigued with what seems to them to be a seemingly simple activity, and they figure that I must be similarly simple to be so entertained. They try then, the minute you say you're a knitter, they try to reconcile that with what they know to be true about knitters in their heart. All the stereotypes; the things that they believe; the images that are conjured up when you say, "knitter." Then they are forced to look again at me, and I don't match, and the first sense that I am inexplicable is born within them.
• [00:09:54.45] This is partly because the culture I live in, and the one you live in too, does not think that knitting is an especially valid way to spend your time. It's not thought of as a bad way to spend your time, but it's not thought of as especially worthwhile either. As a matter of fact, the culture we live in thinks it's a lot more valid to sit on the couch, watching tv, and eating a bag of chips. Demonstrating that I knit while I sit on the couch, and eat a bag of chips; it has not helped me to fit in any better.
• [00:10:33.19] Nobody wants to stop me from knitting. Precious few people even seem to care that I'm knitting, but none of them seem to think that knitting is a demonstration of my intelligence or generally canny common sense. In my experience, people don't have a clue what knitters are really doing. They don't have a clue what's happening when we gather together in groups. They're pretty sure it's not good, and they all have this general misunderstanding about what we're doing. I can tell that a lot of ways. There's a lot of indications, you know, that people don't think we're perfectly normal. I don't know how many of you have had this experience, but I can tell because of how they look at me if you four perfectly normal people; rent a minivan; drive them halfway across the country for a sheep and wool festival, and a knitting weekend. You know that the giggles just do not stop. You know they'll, "What are you going to do all weekend, knit?" You can tell that it's, you know, some sort of minor problem that I don't fully understand. If you contrast that with what happens if four perfectly ordinary people rent a minivan, and drive across the country for a fishing weekend. Which is apparently perfectly valid, even though at the end of those two respective weekends they have nothing, and I have a car full of wool. I can tell because a lot of the things that I hear them say to knitters, you know, things that they say to me or that they say to you things I've overheard over the years. I've made a list of these things, which I will now share with you. I'm sure you've heard many of these:
• [00:12:28.86] People say to us, "I wish I had time to knit." That one hurts my feelings a little bit, because of what I feel they're trying to insinuate, you know, which is that they have a very great many important things to do, and I do not. It also confuses me when people say that, because inevitably the person who says this to me is doing what I am doing. Have you ever noticed this? You're both waiting for a plane, and they are sitting there waiting for a plane, and you're sitting there, knitting, waiting for a plane and they say, "I sure wish I had time to knit." Happens all the time, right, when we're both waiting in a doctor's office; when we're both waiting at the hockey rink for our kids; when we're both at a red light. They say they have no time.
• [00:13:42.99] My friend, Dez, was sitting in a doctor's waiting room and had a woman, a woman who was watching Price is Right on the office tv, say to her, brace yourselves a little bit, she says, "I'm grateful that I've never been bored enough to take up knitting." Now if somebody had said that to me, I would have sat there in hurt stunned silence and thought up the perfect really brilliant comeback at about three in the morning. At which point I probably would have woken up Joe and the cat, who would not have been impressed. She was picking on the wrong knitter, you know, because Dez is way sharper than me and when she said that to Dez, Dez took a deep breath, looked her square in the eye and said, "Really? I'm grateful that I knit so that I've never been bored enough to take up insulting strangers." Dez says that, "if you like, you can write that in a card for your knitting bag."
• [00:14:50.95] They say, I hear this one all the time, I'm sure you do too. They say, "I'm not patient enough to knit." That one cracks me up because I think that what they don't understand is that knitters are the most impatient people ever, in the history of the world. In my experience, knitters are knitting because they have no patience. They need the artificially generated force field of patience that knitting gives them, in order to even begin to cope with the world around them. I'm taking a small survey to support this theory, so please raise your hand if you feel that in the last week knitting has prevented you from committing a crime. How about if that crime would have been assault? Yeah, patient my arse.
• [00:15:53.18] Someone told me this one once, and I think you're really going to like this considering where you are, and what you're doing. She told me that she did not think she was the sort of person who would enjoying knitting because she doesn't like to spend that much time alone. Bet you didn't know you were supposed to be doing this by yourself.
• [00:16:24.77] They say, not us, I've never heard a knitter say this, I only here non-knitters say this. They say, "Knitting is the new yoga." Which cracks me up. It it just so happens that I've done a great deal of both. I'm here to tell you that I absolutely do not see it. Not at all. The two activities are very very different. In one of them you have to learn to stretch your body; and your awareness; and expand your mind; and you have to learn to meditate, and breathe; and there's all these physical challenges to learn; and all of this room for injury. Yoga is nothing like that. I love this one because it speaks to how people don't know how we are, and how once you say the word, "knitter," they start forming an opinion that you might not be able to get away from. I was explaining to a gentleman the other day about Knitters Without Borders, and how knitters have given almost a half a million dollars to Medecins Sans Frontieres, and he was impressed or maybe it was stunned. Sometimes with non-knitters I have trouble telling the difference, and he looked at me and he said, "Wow. Really?", and I said, "Really.", and he said, "Huh. Where'd knitters get that kind of money?" I thought about it for a really long time. Like, what does he think, there's six of us, and we all really chipped in? Afterwards, Joe kind of looked at him, and he said, "Dude, some knitters have jobs." Which leads me to think we all need a National Knitter Day where we all wear a t-shirt that reads, "Knitters... we walk among you." [UNINTELLIGIBLE] a sign, every knitter in the universe; a t-shirt for one day.
• [00:18:38.29] In as much as people find knitters, and knitting inexplicable. I really wish I could give you my pass to go to a publishing conference, just once. Maybe you could take turns. Everybody take it for 15 minutes, because you haven't lived until you've tried to explain that you write knitting humor at a publishing conference. I can see that it may be a bit of a niche market. I can see I may be the only person in it. My favorite thing is that you meet these people and they ask you, how many books you've written; how's it going; does anybody buy any of them; that kind of thing, and then when they've done all of this, you can see them trying to process this information desperately. You know, and then they say, "Wow. That's really interesting. So, do you think you'll ever write any real books?" Clearly the definition of book I have been using up until now, which was words written on paper between covers, is somewhat inaccurate.
• [00:19:38.29] I guess that kind of speaks to the root of it, right. That when people see us knitting; they don't see anything meaningful. They can't see what's really going on. They can't see that there's anything really clever or interesting happening. It looks to them like we are deeply, deeply involved with string, and they find this very odd. They can see no relative social value in what we're doing. In many of these conversations, I struggle not to bring up football. I'm not making any kind of judgment about football I'm not going to say whether or not football is good or bad. I'm simply going to point out that some elements of football have inexplicable social value. For example, I don't know how things are at your local yarn shop, I really don't. You know, maybe things are different here. Maybe that's why I'm not understanding. But at my local yarn shop, eleven guys don't grab my ass when I score sock yarn. Just my friend, Denny, and that was one time, and it was cashmere. You guys all know the rule, right? What happens in the yarn shop, stays in the yarn shop.
• [00:21:15.40] This disconnect; this problem that they have with us, has a lot to do with the way that knitters break society's rules about things. We drive them really quite mad because knitters have no demographic. Absolutely none. Society likes people in this culture to have demographics because our culture is mostly about selling things. So if you don't know how to sell things to people, or what category they fit in, then people get very uncomfortable. Knitters are a marketing nightmare. An absolute marketing nightmare. I know there are people in this room who sell things to knitters, and I'm sure that by now you've noticed something really interesting about your demographics, such as it is. Which is that no matter what product you are selling to knitters, half of them are going to think it's crap. A full half are going to think it's no good. This by the way is the leading cause of the alcoholism among yarn company executives and knitting magazines editors. You can see them at the conferences too. They're all like, you know, trying to figure out where they've gone wrong. They're like, "Uh well they said acrylic was no good, so I got rid of all the acrylic. I just have natural fibers, and then they were all like wool is itchy. Why is this here? I don't know what they want."
• [00:22:47.82] This group from a marketing perspective crosses about 18 different demographics. You're all different faiths; you're all different ages; you're all different socioeconomic groups; you're all different genders; you have all kinds of different politics. Look around you at the knitters that are nearby, and know that if they were not knitters, you would not be caught dead with some of these people. Look at you all looking at the lady next to you going, "It's true, I would never have come here with you. We wouldn't even be friends."
• [00:23:33.76] So, human beings don't do well without explanations, and when they can't pin down who knitters are exactly, they start making things up. In the world of their imagination, they have heard of knitting grandmothers, so suddenly we are all old. They imagine that these grandmothers are nice, so suddenly we are all nice. They know grandmothers are women, so we are all women and they know one knitter who might have bought a little too much sock yarn and had it spill out of the closet in a frightening yarn avalanche that buried the dog; and now we're all hoarding.
• [00:24:22.03] Once non-knitters start trying to finish the sentence, "Knitters are...", we are in a lot of trouble, because what they come up with is knitters are women; knitters are old; knitters are boring; knitters are lonely; or knitters are profoundly mentally ill. Then anytime somebody who doesn't fit that precise stereotype walks up to them, they all have an absolutely classic meltdown, and usually one of them calls a reporter. They call the reporter over and they say, "You are not going to believe this knitter I have seen. They are not old, or lonely, or boring, and I think you should come over here and take their picture." I can prove this because I've been reading the headlines about knitting for the last year or so, I've even been collecting a few.
• [00:25:13.45] Even though statistically the people knitting now, are actually the people who have always knit. This is what knitters have always looked like. They have never been little old grandmothers alone. The only thing that this demographic, the people in this room, that isn't sort of historically accurate is that there should be a few more men, but other than that these are the people who have always been knitting. Despite that, every time a reporter comes over and sees a bunch of knitters, they are compelled to write a headline that to me makes no sense. Here are some: "Kniters have an alternate reality." You like that? Or this one, this one I'm still struggling with a little bit: "Knitting the unlikeliest of crazes." Wouldn't you think that like collecting your own hair was the unlikeliest of crazes? Shaving hamsters; the unlikeliest of crazes. Or my favorite, I love this one a lot because it confused me so much that I laughed for awhile was: "It's no yarn, knitters are really having fun." Apparently it's news that we're having fun. Can you imagine all these hours and hours a day you spend on this and you hate it? You're really only doing it until the yarn at the house is gone. Then you're going to stop. Seems a shame to throw it away. You're just going to use up your stash, and then you're quitting. But really non-knitters must think that we're not having fun because haven't you ever had somebody tried to rescue you from your knitting? Especially with socks. See, you all know this one; if you're knitting socks, at some point someone is going to walk up to you and say, "You know, you can buy them for a dollar a pair." And they say that exactly like this is going to be a surprise to you. They say that exactly like you have missed this little piece of social knowledge, right? They say it to you exactly like when they say that, you're going to say, "Really? Are you serious? Do you know how many pairs I've knit? Do you know how long it takes me to knit a pair of socks? And nobody told me until now? That's fine, that's fine, we can move on from here. Why don't you take me to this place. What was it called? What did you say? Walmart? I suppose you're going to tell me we can get sweaters there too."
• [00:28:37.26] Here is what we would tell non-knitters if they were listening, which they're not by the way, don't get your hopes up. We want them to know that knitters are smart. Knitters are very smart. I actually believe that knitters are self-selecting for the brightest and best among us. I believe that knitters are the most intelligent people on earth, and I believe that they are actually knitting because they are so smart that without the added interest of a layer of knitting over their entire lives they simply cannot tolerate the otherwise mundane existence. This is what I believe. If you meet a knitter, you know they can read. If you meet a knitter, you know they can count, more or less. Most of us wouldn't like to be tested on that. Since yarn ain't free, you know that a knitter is smart enough to earn an income, or smart enough to trick someone else out of their money.
• [00:29:51.61] We want them to know that knitters are not really patient, and it is dangerous to underestimate us, and even more dangerous to remove our knitting. We want them to know that knitters are persistent. A knitter will stick with something far longer than an ordinary person will. My husband, Joe, thinks this should be printed on small cards, and mailed to anyone who looks like they might want to marry a knitter. We want them to know knitters are generous, sort of. This is partly because they understand cumulative action, which I've spoken about before, and partly because-- and we can just have this in this room and the room up there-- it's fake generosity. You know it, I know it. Knitters give away a lot of stuff. This is because it does not fit. If gauge actually worked, our true colors would be revealed.
• [00:31:14.24] Knitters would like people to know that we are doing way more than it looks like we're doing, and I have found some interesting proof. The human brain has, as far as we know, four categories of brain waves. I'm raising teenagers, so I think I may have invented one or two more, but science has yet to catch up with me.
• [00:31:36.29] When your brain is actively engaged, it is in beta. Beta is whenever you are doing some serious thinking. A teacher teaching is in beta. A knitter working intensely from a chart where she is at serious risk of a screw up is in beta. I am in beta right now, up here, trying not to humiliate myself in a foreign country.
• [00:31:59.99] Next is the Alpha. Alpha brain waves are slower. Alpha brain waves are your brain at rest. When you sit down after a task, you are probably going to be in alpha. Watching tv is alpha. Knitting something that you find interesting, but fairly simple, is alpha.
• [00:32:20.25] The next state is theta, and it's the most interesting ones to me. Einstein trained himself to spend a lot of time in theta. Theta is the meditation stage. Theta comes about when people do a repetitive thing over, and over, and over again. Runners fall into theta listening to the sound of their own feet. Athletes fall into theta. They call it being in the zone. I personally don't engage in things that make me sweaty, so I wouldn't know. Have you ever been driving down the highway, and all of a sudden you realize that the last 15 minutes are gone? That's theta. Don't worry, your brain was not off. It is a little scary. Almost all of you know theta, because almost every human being enters theta twice a day whether they try to desperately avoid it or not. Almost everybody, unless there's something really wrong with you, goes into theta on your way to sleep, and your way out of sleep. Theta is that dreamy, crazy, floaty, place right before you fall asleep. That place where you do what feels like and probably is the very best thinking of the whole day. Theta, the kind of thinking you do in it, is almost purely creative. It's almost purely idea generation. There's no judgment in theta; no criticism in theta. That part of your brain that says, "That's not a very good idea. Go another way.", is just off. A lot of creative people that I know keep a piece of paper and a pen by the side of their bed to capture these ideas that they have in theta on the way to sleep. I do this, but it is not a perfect system. A couple of things can go wrong with it. The first thing is, you need to be able to read it in the morning. I can't be the only person who has lost three days of their life to going, "Nargfam? Nargfam?" What could that be? Nargfam?"
• [00:34:36.76] The other problem with theta is that sometimes when you read what you wrote down in the morning, it isn't quite as deep as you thought it was at the time. I had this experience the other day where I had on my way to sleep I thought of this idea for a great essay about enabling and how it's not really-- it's really helping. I kind of woke up out of this dream state, and I scribbled down the outline just quickly so that it wouldn't be lost to sleep, and when I got up the next morning I took the piece of paper and I went downstairs, and I made coffee and I really felt rather pleased with myself, because the better part of my work was done for the day because ideas are the hard part, writing is easy. I was feeling entirely thrilled that I would have this outline. So I was somewhat disappointed to discover that the outline was three words, and worse than that, that the three words read, "something about enabling." Very sad, very sad.
• [00:35:43.16] The fourth category of brain waves for human beings is delta, and that is sleep. That is, as far as I know, the only state of brain waves that human beings do not knit in. Which I feel you will all agree, is not for lack of trying. OK. So, you can get to theta by accident, or you can get to theta on purpose. To get to theta on purpose you need to repeat simple activity. Something repetitive; the same thing over, and over, and over, and over again. You'll have to think of something. Maybe crochet, that would work. You could try that. Then you have to train your mind. People who are learning to meditate have to train their mind to exclude other thoughts. So when you're doing yoga and you're meditating, they'll tell you if you have another thought, just have it and then let it go, and empty your mind again and come back to your one thought, or your series that you're repeating to put yourself into theta. Knitters find it quite easy because they're usually having a thought that they find rather easy to repeat. Right? Like, knit, purl, yarn over, purl, knit one, knit. Sorry. Take back those last seven stiches. I have that exact problem with the Lucy Neatby dvd's. Whatever she's talking about, that's what I'm doing. If she says to make a buttonhole and all of a sudden I've got a whole row of them. I can't watch her while I'm knitting. I just, "Yes, Lucy." So knitters have this kind of repetitive thing down, the repetitive movement. They have a repetitive one thought that they can keep bringing their mind back to, and they don't even have to train themselves to let go of other thoughts because we have knitting to train us. Because if you have another thought... There's nothing like frogging a couple hundred stitches of lace to smarten it right up. You know what I mean?
• [00:38:07.14] People who enter this state of theta fairly regularly, expert's advise that the best thing you can do for yourself is a minimum-- I don't if anybody's going to be able to find time for this-- but they suggest that you find a way to be in theta twice a day for twenty minutes. If you can do that, your brain starts learning some new tricks.
• [00:38:32.93] First of all, it seems to help your brain get used to being focused. It's sort of like practicing being the opposite of ADD. This has led to some very, very interesting research involving children who have ADD, and knitting, and how it's helping them learn and stay still.
• [00:38:54.59] Secondly, these people seem to be more aware. They notice more things around them. They're better with details. This one's interesting; these people are better at being objective in a difficult situation. I know, I can't be the only one thinking all politicians should be forced to engage in knitting.
• [00:39:18.53] Finally, these people find it easier to learn how to connect with their creative side even when they're not in theta. It's like once your brain knows the way there, it's easy to get there. Not only that, but while this is happening in your brain, that's causing physical changes. The stress hormones are adrenaline, noradrenaline, and cortisol. They're the ones that make you sick. Those are all the hormones that are raised with stress. That are the reason why stress is associated with so many illnesses in human beings, right? Heart disease, stroke, asthma, obesity, infertility, diabetes, all these things are related to stress. When you spend time in theta every day, you lower the levels of those hormones, making it less likely that you'll be ill.
• [00:40:07.17] A bunch of scientists recently studied a bunch of Buddhist monks. These are guys who spend hours a day in theta. Which of course, I mean there are no other human beings besides Buddhist monks that could possibly be spending hours a day in theta, right? There's no other activity anybody does that's like that.
• [00:40:28.14] The researchers were very, very interested to find out what this did to monks' brains in the long term. They expected to find that the monks' brains were different while they were meditating. They expected to find that much like what they already knew about but being in theta, that the monks' brains were different for a little while after they were meditating, and that these hormone levels and stuff were lower for a couple of hours afterwards. But they found something else; they found something really interesting.
• [00:40:59.93] They found evidence to support the study in the science of neuroplasticity. The words you learn from knitting. Neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity has been called the most important discovery of the 21st century. Not by me, by people who read neurology journals and stuff like that. Although, I guess, I find it compelling. Neuroplasticity is-- does anyone have kids the age of my kids or older than my kids? OK. Remember how when they were little we all got told that you had to be really careful about their brains? That you had to make sure that you showed them black and white toys, and stimulated them a whole lot, and hung things from their mobile, and you know, got in their face and talked to them a lot, and sang songs, and read books to them in utero, all of that kind of thing. Do you remember that? No pressure. That's because we used to think that the way the human brain grew was like the way the human body grew. That you were born, you had a period of growth, and then that was the body you got. Same thing with brains. You were born, your mother did her level best, then your brain grew up as much as it was going to and you stopped. They have since discovered this is all wrong. All wrong. The things you do during your life continue to shape and change your brain as you grow older. They think that this is maybe one of the reasons that knitters have a lower incidence of dementia and alzheimers, because we're changing our brains. So the scientists took a look at these monks' brains, and they found evidence that the monks were seriously changing their brains with prolonged periods of theta. Seriously changing their brains. Anybody ever hear that thing on the X Files and other science fiction shows, where they talk about how people only use 10% of your brains? The monks are using more than that. The monks are probably about ten minutes away from being able to move pianos with their minds. If they weren't a peaceful people; should be very afraid. They've discovered that the monks have what's called, enhanced neuro coordination. This means that literally more of their brain circuits are talking to each other than in our brains. The monks have enhanced focus. They can pay attention better and for longer. They learned faster than other people. They remembered what they had learned better than other people, and the monks especially had-- it sounds complicated but it's not-- the monks especially had heightened activity in the left prefrontal cortex. Which I know doesn't sound like anything you should be trying to get, but it turns out that that is the part of your brain responsible for happiness. The researchers thought that all of these were permanent changes. That even if the monks stopped doing it, their brains would be changed forever.
• [00:44:12.36] There is more. A study by the Medical Research Counsel in Cambridge, England, learned that knitting could actually help prevent you from being traumatized by bad things. They did a study where they asked volunteers-- it's really a horrible study actually. I bet it was college students. Ten bucks and a beer to do this. They're the only people who'd do it for sure.-- They asked volunteers to watch terrible graphic footage of car wrecks for a whole day.-- Ten bucks, and a beer. They would do it.-- They divided them into three groups. One group just watched. One group watched and typed a simple pattern on the keyboard, just back and forth like this while they watched, and the other group talked while they watched. Then they gave them diaries and pens, and they asked them to go away and record how many times over the next week these images had come back to bother them; how many times they had thought about it; how much of their time was consumed with trying to deal with these difficult images. They got some really interesting results.
• [00:45:13.27] The people who just watched, formed the middle group, the baseline. The people who performed a simple repetitive action, were less traumatized, and the people who talked were more traumatized. I've decided not to share that last detail with Joe, since I'm sure that the fact that talking increases trauma cannot serve me well in future arguments. They figured that this is because-- I'm not a neurologist. So, if there's one here, you know, afterwards they're going to come back and say, "Not quite.", and so I'm way oversimplifying here.--
• [00:45:57.00] Essentially, information gets into your brain two ways. One is through your sensory channel, which is the part of your brain that is responsible for what you see, hear, feel, that sort of thing. So hook up to sort of the animal part of your brain, that doesn't do a whole lot of deep thinking. The other way things can get into your brain is by way of your intellectual channel. That's the part of your brain that takes things in, sorts them out, categorizes them, make sense of them, helps you cope.
• [00:46:29.37] They think that the reason that the people performing a visual-spatial task, like typing back and forth on a keyboard, were less bothered, was because they were blocking their sensory channel. So the only way that information could get into their heads, was by way of the intellectual channel, which does a better job than your sensory channel, which really just wants you to be troubled to death with a stick.
• [00:46:55.50] They think the people who were talking, suffered more because they were blocking their intellectual channel. So the only part of their brain that was free to deal with any of this was the part of your brain that wants you to beat bad things to death with a stick. Which is not exactly a sensible way to deal with most problems. I have to tell you that while I was reading all of this, I thought it was very, very interesting. I started relating it back to what we know about knitting and all of that, and I noticed that down at the end of the study that the researchers specifically mentioned knitting. They mentioned worry beads, rosaries, and knitting, as three examples of activities that could make a difference this way. Then the study started cracking me up, because in the section, "How Can This Knowledge Be Used?", they wrote that they were not sure. I can think of really no practical application for this at all. And they actually wrote, and I quote, directly, "Of course, it's not practical to carry around emergency knitting for times of stress." Yeah, nobody does that. Well, since you can't carry it around clearly. Not practical to carry around emergency knitting for times of stress. I just about fell on the floor. Emergency knitting. Nobody has that. That would be odd. Does anybody just have like a sock in their purse or something to take the edge off. Not normal.
• [00:49:16.66] When I was writing this, I read that last section about the science, knitting and the brain, and all of this to my long suffering husband, Joe, and he listened carefully to everything that I had said, and then he said, "That's very good honey. That sounds great, but what's your point?" What he meant wasn't what I thought he meant which is what led to a ten minute fight that I won't go into here. What he meant was, why would you bother telling this to knitters? You know, knitters already think knitting is great. I can talk to you about all of the scientific evidence supporting how knitting is good for you as long as I want to, and it's probably not going to change much, you know. I mean, it's not like there was someone who came here tonight who was really thinking about giving it up, and now they've decided, you know, that they'll continue for awhile longer, you know, for their health. It's not like any of you are going to go home and you know redouble your efforts. Because if you're here, frankly, you're probably approaching the upper tolerances of what can be done by a person anyway. I can explain this to knitters as much as I want to, and what we really need is for non-knitters to hear this. Because until they hear it, it's not really going to change the way that knitters are perceived. There's a problem, which is that non-knitters are not listening. They're not interested. They're not listening. They're all out listening to someone like me, talk about golf; or fishing; or cars; or spoons. I have recently discovered that some people collect spoons. I'm not judging this in any way. I'm really not. Some people collect socks. Some people collect rocks. Some people collects spoons. I just don't want to hear one word about my stash from them, that's all. That's all I'm saying. That's the deal. You collect spoons, I zip it. Not one word about the sock yarn in the hall closet.
• [00:51:33.41] The reason I'm telling knitters this, even though there's sort of no point, two reasons. First, I want to validate you. You know, we get a lot of messages from the world around us that knitting is not very valuable or the textile arts aren't really art. Or that the time you spend doing this is frivolous, or cute, or charming, and aren't they glad we found this lovely way to occupy all our free time. I want you to know that knitting is not worthless, and the time you spend on it is valuable. And I want you, when you hear criticism, like, "I wish I had time to knit.", I want you to be able to either outloud, or in your head, depending on what kind of person you are, wonder how much time that person has spent that day just sitting.
• [00:52:27.60] Secondly, I want you to know that there's a lot of evidence proving that knitting is improving you as a person everyday. Spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, physically, knitting is changing you. Whether you are doing it well, or not. Thank goodness, actually. Even though non-knitters can only see the pointy sticks; the stash of yarn; you crying because you had to rip out the sleeve for fourth time. Non-knitters can't see how you feel, and they can't see what's happening on the inside of you, and they don't get to decide what this is worth. I've been trying to find a way to bring them around to our way of thinking, and I have not had much success. I did have one idea, but I have been advised that it is not a good one. My idea was to lock them in a room with yarn, needles, a basic knitting book, and, seven seasons of SG-1, until nature took it's course. Although, I have been advised that technically that is kidnapping, and therefore illegal. I think it would be like deprogramming someone from a cult though. I think they'd thank you later. I think when they'd stop banging on the door and it went quiet in there for awhile. You know, you'd know. They were thanking you quietly.
• [00:54:04.36] PARTICIPANT 1: Is there a volunteer program?
• [00:54:08.58] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: but the black van will pull up back later.
• [00:54:15.63] Until that glorious day, when knitting is seen for what it is, and knitters for who they are, we're all just going to have to write our own definitions. If society can't finish the sentence, "Knitters are...", with any degree of accuracy; that's OK, we can do it for them. Knitters are smart. Knitters are learning. Knitters are knitting, and knitting is making us more generous. Knitting is making us more patient. Knitting it's helping us to understand about being on a team, and doing things for yourself. Knitting is helping us learn to both live in the moment, and look into the future. Knitting is about thinking in straight lines, and about seeing how things are interrelated.
• [00:55:09.36] We as a subculture-- my mother likes to say we're a creepy little subculture-- we as a subculture are becoming kinder, and happier and more persistent with everyday that we do this. Coupled with this new research showing that knitters along with Buddhist monks-- and there's a weird view of the future if you think about it-- are some of the only people on earth getting smarter everyday, and it can only mean one thing. We will continue to be inexplicable. We will continue to be misunderstood, but knitters know this, our plan to take over the world continues. [? OK. ?]
• [00:56:16.36] OK, don't do the clapping. I still think it's creepy. I just came here to talk to some knitters. When you clap it reminds me what their job is, and they get all freaked out.
• [00:56:27.30] Do you want to do the question and answer part, or just the part where you all sort of stare at me?
• [00:56:31.02] TIM GRIMES: If someone has a question, they can come over here to the mic. We are being televised.
• [00:56:40.79] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: That way if you'd go and stand at the mic, then the people in the room upstairs can hear you. Oh, she's running.
• [00:56:47.42] PARTICIPANT 2: Two things. First of all--
• [00:56:51.09] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: You're too short for the mic. I have that problem all the time.
• [00:56:52.99] PARTICIPANT 2: First of all, the thing about knitting, what you were talking about with the brain. It's actually REM, which is rapid eye movement, and it's the right and left brain thing releases special neruons or special--
• [00:57:05.61] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: So it's even better than I think it is?
• [00:57:07.43] PARTICIPANT 2: Yes, Yes. Like therapists, they acutally use the rapid eye movement stuff for people who have post-traumatic stress after 9/11.
• [00:57:13.82] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: That's right to link their two sides of their brain together.
• [00:57:16.41] PARTICIPANT 2: Right.
• [00:57:16.86] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: I know there are many many many more hours I could have spent on medline over this.
• [00:57:20.93] PARTICIPANT 2: Yeah, and my second question is, why after all this time have you not learned to put underwear into your carry on bag when you get to the airport? I'm just curious.
• [00:57:31.71] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: Because what is in my carry on bag, is more important than clean knickers.
• [00:57:40.73] PARTICIPANT 2: Yes, but they can be scrunched up and tiny. They only need a little tiny space.
• [00:57:46.48] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: know, I know. I should really carry them around. But really, what's in my bag is already so heavy and full because my laptop, my power cord, and my yarn.
• [00:57:53.66] PARTICIPANT 2: Thanks. STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: I really feel like I can handle almost any emergency with that, you know. but yeah, you're right. I should learn to carry knickers around with me. Or, you know, I imagine a lot of the world's problems would be solved by lowering our standards of hygiene, but anyway. Has anyone ever done a study and found out what happens if you wear the same knickers twice in a row? Probably nothing.
• [00:58:19.51]
• [00:58:22.02] PARTICIPANT 3: Hi. There are a lot of occasions, I think when a lot of us would like to be knitting, and sometimes we're not sure if it's appropriate. If somone might be offended. My sister, who works at the U of M Engineering School, said she was at a function yesterday; had nothing to do with her having to do anything, and her boss later approached her about why did she think she had to be knitting, doing that. And I know in the last year or so, I've read some place about knitting is one of the only activities that's considered socially acceptable in almost any--
• [00:59:01.90] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: It is considered socially acceptable in almost any social setting. The only time I can think of that I wouldn't knit is, well I might not be a good example. Actually I usually won't knit if I'm being paid for my attention, and the person I'm with believes that I am incapable of giving them my attention if I'm knitting. I'll usually just pick something simple, and if you look them in the eye for long enough while your hands are beavering away, they get the idea. You know, most people are bright enough to come around. I think knitting is inappropriate at funerals. Unless the person who died is a knitter, in which case I think nothing could be a more fitting send off. I think that that's about it. I've had some people tell me that they don't think it's appropriate to knit in church. I had a great answer from that last year from someone who told me that as far as she was concerned god wouldn't have made her this way if he didn't want her to do that. I know many Jewish knitters who won't knit on the Sabbath because technically because they don't work on the Sabbath. I once pointed out to a Rabbi that knitting isn't work for most of us. It's a leisure activity and therefore we should be permitted to do it. But he explained that the kind of work that's banned on the Sabbath is actually a special kind of work, which is work like the work that the creator did to make the world in six days. Sorry? It's the creating part that's the problem. It's a special kind of creative work that's banned. Anything that makes or changes, and since knitting both makes and changes, some Orthodox people won't knit on the Sabbath. Could we frog on the Sabbath? Yeah, I don't know. Probably not, because that still changes. I don't know, I'll consult a Rabbi directly. Other than that, I think knitting is appropriate almost everywhere.
• [01:01:21.71] I had Megan's teacher, my middle daughter, called me a couple of weeks ago about concerns she had about Megan's behavior. Which was that she felt that Megan wasn't listening because she was knitting in class. I had to stifle myself, like you would not believe. We eventually entered a draw because Megan is a straight A student, so I asked her what evidence she had that this was not something that was working for Meg. I told her that I thought she would like my knitting daughter better than my non-knitting daughter. I told her that the day that Meg failed a test, she was more than welcome to call me up and I get her back, but until then she was going to need some evidence. I got off the phone and Joe said, "How do you think she would feel if she knew who she had called?" It'd be very funny.
• [01:02:16.76] PARTICIPANT 3: What made you want to start blogging?
• [01:02:19.21] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: What made me want to start blogging? Jealousy. Deep burning, bitter jealousy. I mean everyone was watching the blog community, and everyone was having so much fun. I had left comments, but then I started leaving longer comments, and then I thought oh dear that's hijacking. So then I started trying to kind of get a grip on my urges, and that went really well for about five seconds, and then my friend, Ken, gave me the blog for Christmas. Yeah, I hear there's some non-knitters that who lurk around and read it. But yeah, it was jealousy. I really loved the sense of community that was arriving. I love the way knitters were kind of coming out of the closet, and I felt like blogs were sort of like online dating for knitters. I just loved it; and I was bitterly jealous so Ken made me one, and it was it was good.
• [01:03:15.83] TIM GRIMES: Any other questions? Anyone else want to come to the mic? We do have to have you come to the mic for a question because people won't hear
• [01:03:24.20] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: Now we all have to watch her walk back. Nobody wants to go, because you think we're all going to look at your bum when you're walking up. We're not. We're not. PARTICIPANT 4: Have you ever imagined yourself like in a stand-up comedy place?
• [01:03:42.55] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: No.
• [01:03:43.35] PARTICIPANT 4: With a lot of knitters on one side, and just whatever you call them, on the others side. Non-knitters.
• [01:03:51.28]
• [01:03:51.98] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: Ordinary people on the other side. Mere mortals.
• [01:03:56.41] PARTICIPANT 4: Yes.
• [01:03:59.19] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: The uninitiated. Those who the light does not shine upon. Your choice. Do I ever imagine myself? No, no. I mean, I think there's some jokes that non-knitters are just never going to get and that's ok with me.
• [01:04:14.74] PARTICIPANT 4: That's why I say knitters on the other side.
• [01:04:16.84] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: What you want is like a controlled study? Knitters on one side and non-knitters on the other.
• [01:04:25.67] PARTICIPANT 4: Or mixed together, and then maybe they'd start getting it.
• [01:04:29.15] STEPHANIE PEARL-MCPHEE: Maybe. Are there any non-kitters here? There's a few. Are you having fun? It's all right. I'm not sure I'm funny about everything. I think I might just be funny about yarn, so I'm not sure. It's a very complicated plan really, be funny about yarn.
• [01:04:53.00] TIM GRIMES: Any other questions for Stephanie? Well, we want to thank you for coming Stephanie. We want to make sure everyone has time to get their books signed. Stephanie will be right up there signing her books. There's a lot of people up on the fourth floor that'll be coming down. Borders is actually up on the fourth floor now. If you haven't bought your book, you can dash up there and get it. Thank you, Stephanie, for coming and we hope you all had a good evening.
• [01:05:23.77] This concludes our broadcast. For a complete listing of upcoming events at the Ann Arbor District Library, visit our website at www.aadl.org or call the library at 734-327-4200. Press option three for events listings.